bawal

arrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh.

I've got to stop this. I've got to stop thinking about you. There are so many reasons why I shouldn't be doing this. It doesn't feel right and it isn't right. But being with you, just for that moment in time, felt so right. I shouldn't have let myself get attached to you. I've avoided it for the past few years, what made me bring down my own defenses?

I gave you that chance. And i paid the price.

Looking for you, waiting to hear from you, waiting for that text, that smiley in YM that immediately brightens up, signalling you're online. It's not going to come and I don't even know why I bother looking for it.

Everything else, everyone else, has taken a backseat because of how you suddenly made a mess of my life. And how you suddenly turned my world upside-down.

And as always, as with all other stories of my life, it wouldn't matter. And you wouldn't know about its after effects and what you've done to me. And, like everything and everyone else, you wouldn't care.

One of the songs is playing. And I never associated this song with anything or anyone else. But after that, it's you I will remember.

Tonight, I'm supposed to be thinking about someone else. Tonight was supposed to be an ordinary night, thinking that tomorrow will be another normal day. But to be honest, I'm afraid of what tomorrow might bring. When I see you. When I've seen you a thousand times before, never once feeling half of what I'm feeling now. And I wouldn't know how to react. When i see you. When you see me.

Any sign of you and I go crazy.

God, what did you drug me with?