slight

er i'm in alva computers right now in philcoa. something's wrong with the web browser at home. shet. i wanna write about so much things!!!! but i'm expected home already [hehehe. what's new? :P]

til next time.

alone

i've been out of sorts this past week. i think it's a combination of so many factors and so many things happening. i remind myself of this lady who fainted in pro-gym yesterday. While staying with her in the bathroom, i asked her what went wrong, how it happened, etc. She said she didn't really know. I told her that maybe it was a combination of so many factors: swimming in the morning, not working out for a week, stress from her Masters, newer/harder fitness program-- a combination of all of this could have led her to her sudden fainting. Then she told me "Hindi naman ako ganito eh... Hindi ako mahiluin na tao..." i told her na siguro nabigla lang katawan niya.

i agree with her. hindi naman ako ganito eh...

these past few weeks have been my insecurity-filled weeks. how everything seems to be going wrong, i can't seem to do anything right, etc. etc.

mel dropped me off in vinzons a while ago, past 7 pm. i didn't feel like going home yet so i started walking around the acad oval towards no known destination. i just started to walk. And think. And think.

i thought about how i'm not really a very good friend. nope, not at all. i think i'm only good for the getting-to-know-you stage. after that, that's it. no more depth. i wrote before that i was a pretty shallow person, yeah, i'm a pretty shallow friend too. my mind suddenly wanders off whenever my friends share their kwento for the day. i can't seem to give advice or share my thoughts about anything. i just go ____blank____. i've been stuck in this phase for quite some time already. i've noticed it since high school.

there's this rave song that was such a hit during my first year in high school. "do you think you're better off alone?"

i reached a conclusion while walking around the acad oval: i'm too self-centered to deserve friends.

naks. drama di ba?

small things

despite the current funk i'm in, these little things somehow manage to pop up, and fill me with a brief moment of happiness...

1.) UP Maroons winning against NU... in volleyball :D
2.) movie marathon in casa dator :D


ang astig ng movie na to. shet. ang ganda ni audrey hepburn. <tibuan!!!> hehehe


ang ganda nito pero ang weird niya. it took quite a while for mel and i to understand what was going on. but sweet siya. artsy fartsy na ewan.

labo...

3.) the spotlight on the roof of shang while it was raining. ang ganda ng effect, parang nasa movie or music video ako ... heehee! kilig!! :D

4.) eeyore cookie lollipop from shoppersville :D

yun lang...

regrets

there's this miss universe-type question that goes like this: Have you ever done something you regret?

And of course, we all know the answer. We would all say "No, i have no regrets in life. Because without which all those things i have done, they never would have made me into the person i am today."

or something like that. we all know how it goes.

But this evening, while riding the bus from Commonwealth, i began to think about my life and the things i've done in the past, my so-called "mistakes."

i asked myself if there is really nothing in my past that i regret doing. i found that i couldn't answer that question. My inner me says

sure, you can say you don't regret anything because they made you who you are today and all that bull, but have you ever realized that with your actions, you affect everyone else? sort of like a ripple effect. You know the saying that everything has a consequence, right? I guess it's the same with the things you do. While you do these things, ultimately, when you come out of it, you will become a better person, but what of the others who get affected by your decision? by your CHOICE. and you have to know that you have to live with the consequences of your actions. that yes, you hurt them. that yes, you have to pay back for what you did. can you live with that? or will you just ignore it and say, "no, i don't regret anything because they made me who i am today"?

i don't know if i'm making any sense.