al pacino's speech in any given sunday

I don't know what to say really.
Three minutes
to the biggest battle of our professional lives
all comes down to today.
Either
we heal
as a team
or we are going to crumble.
Inch by inch
play by play
till we're finished.
We are in hell right now, gentlemen
believe me
and
we can stay here
and get the shit kicked out of us
or
we can fight our way
back into the light.
We can climb out of hell.
One inch, at a time.

Now I can't do it for you.
I'm too old.
I look around and I see these young faces
and I think
I mean
I made every wrong choice a middle age man could make.
I uh....
I pissed away all my money
believe it or not.
I chased off
anyone who has ever loved me.
And lately,
I can't even stand the face I see in the mirror.

You know when you get old in life
things get taken from you.
That's, that's part of life.
But,
you only learn that when you start losing stuff.
You find out that life is just a game of inches.
So is football.
Because in either game
life or football
the margin for error is so small.
I mean
one half step too late or to early
you don't quite make it.
One half second too slow or too fast
and you don't quite catch it.
The inches we need are everywhere around us.
They are in ever break of the game
every minute, every second.

On this team, we fight for that inch
On this team, we tear ourselves, and everyone around us
to pieces for that inch.
We CLAW with our finger nails for that inch.
Cause we know
when we add up all those inches
that's going to make the fucking difference
between WINNING and LOSING
between LIVING and DYING.

I'll tell you this
in any fight
it is the guy who is willing to die
who is going to win that inch.
And I know
if I am going to have any life anymore
it is because, I am still willing to fight, and die for that inch
because that is what LIVING is.
The six inches in front of your face.

Now I can't make you do it.
You gotta look at the guy next to you.
Look into his eyes.
Now I think you are going to see a guy who will go that inch with you.
You are going to see a guy
who will sacrifice himself for this team
because he knows when it comes down to it,
you are gonna do the same thing for him.

That's a team, gentlemen
and either we heal now, as a team,
or we will die as individuals.
That's football guys.
That's all it is.
Now, whattaya gonna do?

better

Definitely a better meeting than the last. We lasted til 10pm again but definitely a change from the usual meeting that would last only around an hour and a half. Even they admitted they were having fun and I didn't look tense anymore. Haha! It's only one night, one meeting, but it's definitely a start. I hate to burst my bubble and this instant high I'm feeling but I know that tomorrow, the other matters will relatively be the same. But getting over this initial hump was a big step. So i hope this is a sign of things to come. See, God really really works/moves in mysterious ways. If we can just project what we feel or how we feel to everything else we do, things would really really be.. great. haha. For lack of words to say.

ooo. rockstar replay. gotta watch.

all about me

So yes I'm afraid of showing who I really am. So here's to light funny topics to avoid the inevitable. So yes, I'm trying to pretend that everything's ok in my life. So yes, I'm that self-absorbed and that superficial. Welcome to my life.

Oh how we hate being content with our lives. How we love to screw them up. All for the drama. All for the excitement.

I have to finish this

I don't want to prolong this anymore than I should. Time to face reality, responsibility, reason, release... everything.

Oh, I'm so good at avoiding things. Hoping things will go away. But the past has a horrible way of cathing up to you and chasing you til you can never truly avoid it.

My whole life has been a lie. For the longest time, I thought I was living my life on the edge but now, I think I've been playing with that line all this time. Moving it and moving it so that the edge goes farther and I only end up stepping on the previous line. I thought took great leaps but all those leaps were in my head. I thought I shared my life and myself with others, until I realized I built wals the size of the Great Wall around me.

But why, why is it that every time I try to be sincere, or every time I actually am, everything has to blow up in my face.

Oh what I've realized these past few days: the world always wins. And here I am fighting a losing battle. A battle I was never meant to fight in the first place. Yet as always, I choose to complicate my life. And the truth? Well people never want to hear about it anyway. And now that I think about it, what truth? My truth changes everyday.

It hurts. But what the heck, at least I still know I'm capable of feeling.