make salita in pinoy

I was going through my old high school stuff when I saw an old Filipino quiz. Guess my score. one over ten. yup: 1/10 I’m not sure if I had a bad day that day, which caused me to screw up that test, or what…

Well, I don’t want to make any excuses. The point is, I really suck at Filipino.

Ask anyone who’s ever heard me speak the language. Something (or somethings) always go wrong. I pronounce it wrong, wrong verb tense… or it’s just completely screwed up.

I’ve tried to find the reasons why I’m so bad at the language. I remember when I was younger, I used to talk in Filipino at home, all the time, because of our helpers, even when everyone else was talking in English. To my village friends, I’d talk in Filipino. I guess it was only when I entered my school that I completely stopped.

Maybe it was also because I had this dream of becoming a voice actor when I was younger. I have this habit of copying what people say on TV-- their intonation, how they pronounce it, everything. Any tv show, any movie, any character, I would try SO hard just to be able to sound like them. And it just so happened that majority of the stuff I watched were in English, so I guess that had an effect on me.

I remember this one time, during grade 5, I was talking to Tina Yulo and Pat S. Then Tina whispered something to Pat. When I asked Tina what it was, she asked Pat “Don’t you think Lei has an American accent?” Then Pat says “Yeah!!” I remember feeling SO proud of that. Now, I have no idea why!

It wasn’t like we were given really crappy Filipino education in school, either. I mean I had a bunch of really good Filipino teachers. Well, actually no, I could only think of one good Filipino teacher. But that’s beside the point. The thing is, they all taught us the basics of the language and even more, so I don’t know why I struggle.

Maybe because I was such a crappy student. I realized that the only reason why I was able to pass Filipino in all my grade school years was simply because I did just enough to get a passing grade. Or, I did just enough to get a grade worthy of me not being grounded. I never really did good in school-- as long as I passed, as long as I wasn’t grounded, I was happy.

In high school though, I had a different tactic. Well, actually it usually was the combined efforts of the class. we’d beg and plead to our teachers not to give us written exams in Filipino because of our “ heavy load.” We’d always suggest plays, musicals, production numbers, sabayang pagbigkas-- ANYTHING, as long as we didn’t have a written test.

And then of course, there was the tactic of making sipsip to the teacher. It was a good thing our teacher in Filipino was our assistant class adviser so all we had to do was make bola and we’d get her good side. We’d surprise her, we’d talk to her after class, or we’d even make kwento in class just so she wouldn’t give us much to do.

It worked and I got through first year without having to exert much effort in Filipino class.

During my second year, though, it was a different story. I had the teacher I completely feared in high school. Somehow, no matter what I did to earn her good graces, she always saw right through me-- each and every tactic I’d use.

There was a time in class when she embarrassed me in front of everyone by pointing out my inability to speak in Filipino. That was also the quarter when I received my very first F in that subject. I always thought the reason why she was so dead frank to other people was to embarrass them, now I realize that it was a wake-up call. But I didn’t know that then, so what. Just 2 more quarters, and she won’t be my teacher anymore. Just bear with it.

Then third year came. I thought I’d try to exert some effort in improving my Filipino, then I realized I didn’t have to. Why? Cause to be quite frank, my teacher was just plain crap. She had no idea what she was talking about. At all. So I (actually, everyone) got an A for the first quarter without even trying. How about the succeeding quarters? Oh, I returned to my grade school tactics: doing just enough to keep my average from falling waay low. But that doesn’t mean I learned anything.

Fourth year came along. And guess who was my teacher. Surprise! Second year teacher! I thought to myself, “What the hell. Might as well give it a shot since I’m graduating anyway.” And only when I actually gave a little effort in that class did I realize how far behind I was from my classmates. Sure, they all had accents (well, majority anyway) when they talked in Filipino, but at least they got it right. Whenever we wrote essays in that class, my paper somehow seemed to be full of quotation marks from all the english words I put. And the ones who were particularly good in Filipino were so fed up with the way I used them as dictionaries.

So here I am, entering my second year of college in the University of the Philippines where EVERYONE speaks in Filipino, and mine sounds like… well… crap. And this is when I realize how much of my education I took for granted. And no matter how many excuses I make or how many reasons I think of, nothing can justify it. I threw my Filipino away.

And I have no one to blame but myself.

black eyed peas

i hate it when you start the day right (or spend most of it right) then towards the end, things just sort of screw up, and for no particular reason, little things suddenly start to bother you, such as:

1.) you weren't online enough today

2.) you didn't order anything in mcdo

3.) you, as usual, arrive in mcdo with your hair all over the place and looking like you just woke up (as always...)

4.)you can’t find the charger

5.) your lava lamp isn’t “lava-ing” fast enough

6.) you weren’t able to check your mail

7.) and most definitely, the black eyed peas did not show up on time

well, that’s all I can think of. crap, I really would have waited for the black eyed peas to show up, I REALLY would have waited for 3 more hours just to freaking see them (and hopefully get them to sign my tsinelas, though I know only cd inlays or posters are allowed) if I didn’t have to go to Mass at 7. as a result, mace and I left The Podium around 6 cause she too had to leave after waiting for nearly 2 hours.

while leaving the podium, mace and I spotted strabucks.

me: “mmmmm…. gusto ko ng starbucks…”

mace: “ako rin.”

then mace told me about an episode in oprah, where she featured this really rich family. what was funny was, they weren’t rich because they owned or operated a multi-national company or anything like that. when oprah asked them the secret of their success, they said “it’s not about what you earn, it’s about what you don’t spend.” that shut me up about my starbucks fixation. that is, until we passed Seattle’s Best and mace complained that there were too many coffee shops. I agree.

while walking to the shaw mrt station, we were trying to think of reasons to console ourselves since we realized we couldn’t have the black eyed peas, such as:

1.) well, at least we got time to spend with maita, barre and franco

2.) um, we got to enjoy the rapping “skills” of mike swift

mike: “I say right, you say ‘yeah’!!!…. right?”
audience: “yeah!!”

mike: “right???!!!”

audience: “yeah!!!”

and on and on….

mike: “I say black, you say eyed…. black??!!!!”

audience: “eyed!!!”

mike: “Peas…. awhhhh!!!!”

naks… how creative.

3.) the REALLY cute guy, who was rapping/singing along when the mobile started playing the APL song…. with a kid (hopefully, that’s his younger brother and not his son)

4.) the guy with the HUGE muscles in the blue sando. I would’ve found him cute if his muscles didn’t scare everyone off.

I can’t think of any more. hopefully, those 4 reasons compensated those little trivial things (above) that completely managed to tick me off.

I’m feeling better now, though, thanks to YM moments with jimabitch and sasha. oh and thanks to lala’s offline messages.

that’s all for now. now if only I can find another opportunity to get the black eyed peas’ autographs.

bitch pic

this is a pic of the three bitches (jona, jim, lei) taken a few hours (or hour) before my 18th birthday with the help of lala's trusty digicam. joy for digicams. they make things so much easier (although i'm not quite sure what things i'm talking about exactly.) oh, guess who i am there. don't i look drunk as hell? well, maybe because i was. hehe.

book i'm reading

the world according to garp by john irving. (that's a copy of our version)



i'm not yet done, i'm on chapter 7, page 183, marked by the area 51 postcard i got for P25 in Tower records, together with my outkast cd. anyway, that book was one of the few my sister managed to leave behind. I'm currently reading it alongside Hardy Boys #5: Hunting for Hidden Gold. Funny. Both provide me with my everyday dose of humor. How's John Irving? Weird. I have yet to find the reason why it's America's most jubilant bestseller. But "The Pension Grillpanzer" was quite interesting. I'm trying to go profound, though.

yeah, it's not working.

touring manila

What a day.

I seriously have no idea what is wrong with me. What in the world in my mind compels me to say yes to EVERYTHING??!!

ok. what happened today?

So we had the NYC thing, right? It was in Jollibee banawe. Why they chose jollibee when Mcdo is right next to their office is beyond me. Oh, i don't think MCdo has a party place. Could be, could be.

i don't really think that's important. This whole NYC thing is getting on my nerves already.

What was memorable was Mcdo with ja-ne, tong and laarni. I don't want to divulge anything but let's just say it's gonna shock the UPSCANS. hahahaha!!!

When we finally left Mcdo, Laarni suggested i ride with tong to go to quiapo or FEU or whatever. In her words, it was simpler than going back to edsa, riding the mrt, then taking another jeep. so, sure, ok!! i'm guessing they know more than i do! besides, i told tong there was a jeep from quiapo that goes straight to pasig. so, oo ba. and i assumed tong knew.

Oh, God. We were all so wrong.

tong asked me on the way to quiapo if i knew where the jeeps were. i told her it was near the church. Of course, i was totally relying on my memory from last Saturday when i accompanied Ma, elaine and ariel (both de guzmans) to divisoria and quiapo. But i had no previous experience whatsoever commuting from quiapo to pasig. Still, i was pretty confident we knew (or one of us did) what we were doing.

Of course, i forgot to tell tong, that i was sulking that whole saturday because i was the "service wench" (in joey's words) of Ma and therefore, paid very little attention to my surroundings. And i also forgot to tell her that things look so different when you're riding in a car, and you're not exactly walking the crowded streets of manila. Oh, also my time in the car was spent trying to find ways to fall asleep. I don't think i made a very productive contribution to our situation. ya think?

so, we got off at the church, and there, we were completely clueless... well, at least i was. i'm not sure though about tong. tong said "ok, lakad na lang tayo. alam ko may dumadaan dito eh..." We spent the next twenty minutes or so walking the streets of quiapo, then avenida, while making jokes about going to SM manila to watch shrek or ride the LRT and end up in edsa. Good thing tong decided she'd call her house to ask for directions. After that, we ended up walking even more to recto, and FINALLY!! we saw the jeeps marked Pasig Palengke. Thank you, God. Thank God for tong.

i seriously can't believe what i just did. That part was completely alien to me. I don't even remember going to avenida as a child, either in a car or any other way. And half the trip (or more) going back to Pasig was f-o-r-e-i-g-n. I spent that part of trip, chewing what was left of my long nails (i chewed a part of them yesterday while watching game 3 of the lakers-timberwolves series). I only relaxed when i saw the familiar signs of the shaw-mrt station, shangrila and 7-11 crossing. When i looked down on my lap, there were bits of my nails strew all over. Yeah, gross.

One thing i learned from all this, just take the safer route!! One that i know of!! Especially when i'm supposed to be online at that time.

But then, it does make me realize (even more so, lately) that i do live one hell of a sheltered life. And even though, you pass the same roads, life in the car is so much different than life on the streets.

see, it is a movie

.

here's a poster of the movie i found on the net. no, i haven't watched it. i read that it's great, though. crap, i'm becoming obsessed about this 'concubine' thing.

starting out

i really don't know what possessed me into starting a blog. i'm not really the type of person to jump in the internet frenzy stuff... then again, i guess i am ever since we got DSL internet. but look, it's just yahoo! mail, friendster and now, this. but look, it's just those three. i mean i don't subscribe to newsletters of starwars, harry potter and such... Well, i have enough junk mail as it is.

yeah, my random thoughts. joy.

why did I start a blog? yeah, these are the questions you should avoid when you start one. I think it scares the readers off, (if there are any.) And besides, do they really want to know?

Ok. so what do you want to know? My (sorry, our) computer is making funny noises. Poor guy, can’t take the stress of all of us using the computer. And this strange thing keeps popping out HELLO!! “Today is my Birthday” -and a bouncing yellow highlight that says “Greet me!” from Tacshapo. I’m guessing it’s a virus. Ack. We don’t need that. And it just stays there, stuck at the middle of the screen. Ah, now it’s gone. It’ll be back later.

What was I talking about again?

Oh, if any of you are wondering about my display name, concubine, here’s the reason why. For the longest time, that word was forever stuck in my head, I have no idea why. And when we had to give any random word for my CW10 class (Creative Writing for Beginners), that was the word I gave. My classmates and prof ended up laughing at me, and wondering how in the world did that come out of my mouth? I told them I didn’t know and said, “Concubine rhymes with porcupine.” More laughs from the class. Hahaha. I guess I was thinking about a book (I’m not sure if it’s a book or movie) called “Farewell, My Concubine.” I never watched/read it so I don’t know why it made such an impression on me.

About the “cereal for breakfast” URL, it was actually supposed to be just plain “cereal” (or concubine). Why? I could hear my younger brother eating cereal, right about now. I’m not quite sure if it’s Trix or Koko Krunch. Probably the former, that’s the one we opened a while ago. “Cereal for breakfast” was longer and it sounded catchier. It sounds like an emo band though. It could also be a tagline. I eat “cereal for breakfast.” No deep meanings, no deep philosophies about the title. I’ll think though, and see if profundity about my title hits me.

That’s about it. For now.