i cannot figure you out

really, I cannot. And I wonder why I should even. Why, why, why. But ugh. Really.

Color me blue I'm lost in you
Don't know why I'm still waiting
Many moons have come and gone
Don't know why I'm still searching

Don't know anything at all
And who am I to say you love me
I don't know anything at all
And who am I to say you need me

and why should I care anyway? You're.. You're.. You're you. And you always will be you. That's what makes you so darn difficult.

gilmore girls + what

Have you ever noticed how there never seems to be a college show on tv? It's always high school this, high school that and work life this and that and shit, but never about college. I mean, I think they tried it before, but I can't think of any series that was all college-y memorable.

And why is that, man? I mean seriously, aren't the concerns of college kids valid? Or even more valid than high school concerns. I love high school shows and all but but but, I need the college kid perspective.

Which is prolly one of the reasons why I love Gilmore Girls so much. I love how they tackled the entire high school and college life of Rory. And how her college life was so college (even if they talk freaking fast and freaking witty). And how my heart breaks with every episode of the final season because of how it's slowly sinking in that in a couple of months, college life is over. And how perfect Rory broke down because she had no idea what she wanted to do after Yale. Hello, if Rory broke down, what about the rest of us human beings?

And it scares me so much. I hang out with a bunch of people who pretty much know what they want to do with their lives, and I don't. I thought I did, but I don't. I thought it was pretty normal at first then I realize it's January 2008. Shouldn't I have a plan or something? A part of me wishes I took the NMAT or the LAE for shit because at least I know I'd have something, anything. And if I fail, at least I know I tried (or some other similar excuse). But here I am. I'm on the last sem of my course. A course that I don't even know if I'm right for it or if it's right for me. I can't even see past graduation. Heck, with the way my thesis is going, I can't even see graduation.

if you had to listen to one song..

If you like depressing song stuff, you have to listen to this. It's so beautifully painful. As in heartbreaking. But it's just so beautiful.. Credits to Anna and perezhilton.



Who Am I To Say
Hope

Love of my life, my soulmate
You're my best friend
Part of me like breathing
Now half of me is left

Don't know anything at all
Who am I to say you love me
I don't know anything at all
And who am I to say you need me

Color me blue I'm lost in you
Don't know why I'm still waiting
Many moons have come and gone
Don't know why I'm still searching

Don't know anything at all
And who am I to say you love me
I don't know anything at all
And who am I to say you need me

Hmmm hmmm mmm
Uhhh oohhh aahhh
Hooo aahhh ohh ohhh

Now you're a song I love to sing
Never thought it feels so free
Now I know what's meant to be
And that's okay with me

But who am I to say you love me
And who am I to say you need me
And who am I to say you love me

Mmmm hmmm

I don't know anything at all
And who am I to say you love me
I don't know anything at all
And who am I to say you need me
I don't know anything at all

I don't know anything at all
I don't know anything at all
I don't know anything at all