trying to make sense of it all

Mel, Ally and I were talking about how we loved UP so much. How napaka-makabuluhan ang mga usap dito, how we didn’t really give a damn about what was going on in the other schools, how, during parties, we don’t give a damn about all those hih school cliques, how when you’re with your high school friends, paulit-ulit lang ang mga topics (mostly love and gossip), how fun it was to have our own little world and not know what was happening to the rest of our batchmates…

Damn. I should’ve eaten my words.

Last Saturday was Maita A.’s debut. I promised her and myself that there was no way I was missing this. Finally, a chance to see my friends from the batch lower (Batch 2004). Shit, I miss them. So I step onto the penthouse of Tektite Towers, looking like crap: jeans, shirt and tribus, while everyone looks as if they stepped out of the pages of candy or Seventeen (Summit Publications, I wonder why?). Of course, I missed them like anything, of course, we all had kwento for each other, of course it was mostly about gossip and love, but what the hell I didn’t mind.

Towards the latter part of the debut, that was when frustration started to set in. Frustrated at how I only saw them now after how many months. Frustrated that I couldn’t see them as much as I wanted to. Frustrated at how I told Ally and Mel that I didn’t miss the mindless kwento, when in fact, I really do. Frustrated that I ever scoffed at not missing walang kwentang kwento until I realized it was as much a part of my life as it is theirs.

I hated how I never get to see them. No matter how much you say it’s walang kwenta, it isn’t. I looked forward to seeing them even if all we’ll be telling each other is walang kwenta. As much as all of our kwneto seems so senseless and mindless, it was the time spent with them that mattered. (Hallmark Card) I was frustrated that after everything we’ve been through, this has what our friendship has come down to. Seeing them only now after almost a year. At that moment, when I was with them, I hated Change. I hated how it brought all sorts of barriers between us. How it all came down to This. I guess this explains why I was crying during Maita B.’s debut when I was drunk as hell. I wasn’t crying just because I was drunk, there was a reason for that crying. Dammit, I miss all my friends in high school, whether they’re from batch 2003 or not.

“I know that all we ever talked about were little things but those little things turned into something bigger.” Meg Ryan, You’ve Got Mail (Not too sure if those were her exact words, though)

“These memories are a part of who I am.” –Artemis Fowl (when he agreed to have his mind wiped of certain memories, only to have a backup file of all that memories to be revealed to him in the future)