So here I am

It's a Friday night and I'm home. Normally, I wouldn't be home this early, I'd still be out. Most likely drinking, yep, even if I've got class tomorrow.

So what brings me here on a Friday night? Who knows.

What's the point in all this screaming, no one's listening anyway..

I think I'll go to bed. Events of this day are catching up. Screw biochem. This is the first time I felt this h-o-r-r-i-b-l-e after taking an exam. I normally feel like crap when I get the results. But this, this is different. After about a week (or two) of finally deciding this is what I want to do with my life, I get a horrible reality check. Rude awakening, if you may. I mean, I definitely know I put a LOT of effort in studying for tis exam, which is a far cry from my usual study habits. Heck. I barely even have any study habits, so this is a step in the right direction. And I can't even give myself a pat on the back knowing I could at least be proud of myself for that, but it's just horrible, horrible to realize that I may not be cut out for this class or for this future. I know it's been a horrible week for a lot of people and I know people who've had it worse than me, but come on. Am i not allowed to feel horrible too? And I know I should be strong for them, but just leave me alone with what I'm feeling. Let me wallow in my misery.

I've got to get a grip on myself. And just hang on to something. Just give me something real to hold on to.