masters

I've been going masters' shopping these past few weeks. It used to be something I did just for fun. All this time, I was under the notion that I am quite capable of pursuing a masters' degree in kinesiology/exercise science. But the more I research about it, the more disheartened I get.

For one thing, how do I choose what school to go to? Should I go to the US, Canada, Europe, Australia, New Zealand, elsewhere? I mean, come on, how do you narrow down your choices? I know pretty much what I'm looking for but narrowing it down is the hard part because all the courses sound the same and there are only a few differences here and there. But that's just my opinion-- maybe I should read the fine print even more.

And then my second worry pops up. Are my undergraduate grades good enough? I've been trying to figure out how to compute GWA (General Weighted Average-- UP system) to GPA, but no such luck there. When I look at my transcript of grades, all I see are more causes for rejection. Cause they're just average at best.

And then the ultimate (or at least I think so) pops up-- where am I GONNA GET THE MONEY?? :O who knew studying abroad could be so expensive? I did a rough estimate of tuition costs, board and lodging for roughly 2 years of masters and the price tag came down to P3million. Come on. Where am I going to get that much money? And that's not even taking into account the tests I have to take (GRE, TOEFL), student visa, plane tickets, allowance.. and the list goes on and on. And I must be kidding myself if I want to make the Fall 2008 application. I don't even know how to start looking for scholarships. And hello, will they even accept me? This is me once again downplaying my abilities and capabilities but it's a very rational thought. I can think of a thousand reasons why I won't be accepted and I'm pretty sure I've got some stiff competition out there.

But this is what I want. And I know I have to find a way to get the things I want on my own, without being too reliant on others. I want to be the premiere exercise physiologist in the Philippines. I want the fitness industry here to be based on science and research and not just something recreational. Although there's nothing wrong with that, I just think that we study so hard for a research-oriented approach to sports and health, so why not put it to good use right? And it's time health should be a priority of the Filipinos. The way I see it, I think most people think of fitness centers as the new Starbucks-- look good and feel good as well as the place to see and be seen. Too little emphasis is placed on the why's and the how's. There's no information campaign on why they do these fitness classes or the exercises they do and how it affects their bodies.

And then I get those nagging fears again. Is this really what I want? Or is this something I just settled for just because it's there? Or is it just because I feel as if I have a better chance with this than succeeding in Med? It scares me. What if I suddenly realize that this isn't for me? Like by some twisted chance of fate, I'm able to support myself in grad school, will I realize it will have been for nothing and realize I flushed away millions of pesos? What a wonderful thought, eh?
I have one year to figure out whether I'm doing the right thing or not. Get it right!